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Real Love is expressed by how a person treats you and not just their words.  Do not be fooled by words alone. Remember that we teach people how to treat us by establishing boundaries and sharing our values. When we meet someone we are attracted to we often project our own values onto them then later when we really get to know them we may feel very disappointed and disillusioned that they are very different from what we expected.  This is because we might be experiencing infatuation, lust or just wishful thinking but not real love.  However, here are some ways to recognize whether a relationship could very well be the real thing.

  1. Completely respecting each other as equals and treating each other in a caring, sharing and loving way.
  2. You are kind to each other. This means being loving, patient, considerate and generous with each other.  You don’t take your frustrations out on them.
  3. You want the best for each other and care about each other’s welfare.
  4. Building trust by keeping your promises to each other.
  5. Being committed and dedicated to always improving the relationship.
  6. Not playing games.
  7. You are faithful and honest and have no secrets from each other.
  8. You want the best and care about each other’s welfare.
  9. Sharing the same deep core values on the way you live your lives.
  10. Being committed to staying when the going gets tough- sticking around during rough times such as physical or mental illness, job loss, etc. However, it does not mean staying when your partner has stopped truly loving you and doesn’t want to fix things.

These are just a few ways to recognize true potential in a relationship.  Real love does not automatically happen.  It is something that we have to work towards, developing trust, communication, respect, compromise and compassion.  Remember COMMUNICATION is vital.

Simple  – Quick  – No equipment needed  – Do it anywhere!

The 4-7-8 breathing technique was developed by Dr. Andrew Weil, Harvard trained and a leading expert on Integrative Medicine.   This is a very simple and useful tool to achieve general relaxation and to manage stress. 

STEPS:       

  1. Exhale completely through your mouth making a WHOOSH sound
  2. Place the tip of your tongue against the ridge of tissue on the roof of your mouth, just behind your front teeth and keep it there throughout the whole exercise.
  3. Close your mouth and inhale quietly through your nose to the count of 4.
  4. Hold your breath for a count of 7.
  5. Exhale completely through your mouth making a WHOOSH sound to a count of 8.

The time you spend on each phase is not important but the ratio 4 – 7 – 8 is.  If you have trouble holding your breath, you can speed it up but keep the ratio 4 – 7 – 8.   With practice you can slow it down and get used to breathing more deeply.

Do it at least twice a day.  Do not do more than four cycles at one time for the first month of practice.   Later, if you wish, you can extend it, but no more than eight breaths.   If you feel lightheaded, stop – it will pass and cut down the number of times you do it.

This exercise is a natural tranquilizer for the nervous system.  Unlike tranquilizing drugs, which are often effective at first but over time lose power, this exercise is subtle when you first try it,  but gains in power with repetition and practice.  Use it whenever anything upsets you or when you are aware of internal tension or you feel a sense of panic.

I have found this very useful with the stresses in my life and I thank Dr. Krisstina Gowin, an Integrative Medicine Doctor as well as a Hematologist/Oncologist who shared this with me.

Hope this helps you to R E L A X.

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